Bear on the roof...

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Bear on the roof...

Postby Dmog » Tue Dec 10, 2013 2:35 pm

A man wakes up one morning in Alaska to find a bear on his roof.

He looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers."

He calls the number and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.

The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got a Ladder, a Baseball bat, a Shotgun and a mean Old Pit Bull.

"What are you going to do," the homeowner asks?

"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.



When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go.



The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."

He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.

"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."
Mog: Half man, half woolly dog.
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Re: Bear on the roof...

Postby Steve Anker » Thu Dec 12, 2013 7:44 am

:D ......
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"Time with my dogs clears my mind, renews my faith, and lets me see the world as it is. My only regret loving dogs as I do, is the misery of their early departure." Robert G. Wehle
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Re: Bear on the roof...

Postby ckirsch » Thu Dec 12, 2013 8:12 am

Someone sent this one to me yesterday. Thought it was worth sharing….

A man and a woman, who had never met before, but are both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly... He in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket!"

After a moment of silence, he farted.
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